Pirate Sheep 06.26.10

What would a four-legged, woolly animal use to sail the seven seas?


A PIRATE SHEEEEEEEP, ARRRRRG!

Get it? Pirate sheep? Like ship, only with an extended (i) vowel? Like arg me mateeeeeeey, I'm on a pyrit sheeeeeeeeep!

WOW! That joke fell flatter than a pancake on an ironing board...

This was inspired by a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon, and I (like so many) was taken in by the charming appeal of the pirates... their rougish attitudes, their sexy hair-dos, the way that they would risk... well... not all that much to save each other.

And then I thought to myself, "Wait... these 'bad guys' who are trying to kill all pirates... aren't they doing so because the pirates just ROBBED AND KILLED THEIR FAMILIES?"

Breaking and entering and manslaughter charges aside, pirates in real life aren't really anything like in the movie... except they do have guns and they're probably pretty dirty. But I'm betting its not the romantic Carribean life that the box office makes it out to be...

It's settled, then... JOHNNY DEPP! Go be a sexy pirate somewhere out on the ocean.

Sheepen Colbert 06.25.10

...Yes. This is Stephen Colbert as a highly patriotic, fashionable, eyebrow-wiggling sheep with great hair.

And yes... that IS a WRISTSTRONG bracelet on his cannon (which in sheep language is his wrist. Look at that--you learned something!)

If you REALLY need to look up info on Stephen Colbert because you don't know who he is, first go to Google. Then go to a doctor, because you have a severe case of loseritis, and you'll need to take some Awesomacillin.

If you need to look up info on Stephen Colbert because you like to know things about him, great! ... But remember, personal education stops at least 100 yards away from celebrities' houses. Any closer and you might have to google in the back of a police car.

SHEEPA WORLD CUP! 06.23.10

The nice thing about the World Cup is that you don't necessarily have to love soccer... it's more about loving your country and showing pride in your nationality than actually liking the sport. Even though soccer is pretty damn cool.

Today's match of US v Algeria? USA pulls out one of the most amazing goals of this year's World Cup by breaking the 0-0 tie that had lasted all game in the last remaining minutes. It. Was. AWESOME!!!!!!!!

Office Sheep 06.15.10

[Insert theme from "The Office", with the drums+accordion. Or whatever that instrument is.]

So, I have a real job now... in, like, an office. Therefore... OFFICE SHEEP. Totally professional.

See? He's wearing glasses, and there's papers everywhere, and he even has a calculator. So professional.





(It's actually drawn in my dad's office, because I had taken it over for the day. Love you Dad!)

Scuba Sheep 06.09.10

Undah da seeeeeea, Undah da seeeeea! We got da speerit, YOU got tah heer it, undah da seeeeeea!

Yea, so I can't pull off a Jamaican accent even on the internet. So what?

Imagine this guy singing it:
Or, for a laugh, this guy....



For optimal laughage, find a buddy who's good at PhotoShop and make a Justabastian Bieber hybrid.